Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You made out with two different species that night
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
