please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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