Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
