Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
