and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
