She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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