just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
