I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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