She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
