Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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