Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His hands were made for my vagina.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
