he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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