I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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