i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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