She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
