i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
