Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
