Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
