i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
