So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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