i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
