R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
