found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
