turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
God, I missed his penis.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
