Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
