Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The uberlube is also flammable
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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