I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
lol hangovers are for mortals.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
