so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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