just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
