so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
