He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
do nipples grow back?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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