and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
