what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
