i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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