Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
