Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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