I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
