i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
