She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
