omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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