deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
