Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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