New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
