Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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