How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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