And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
