420 ftw
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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