I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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