Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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