dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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