My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
